


Forever

by mommyisageek



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 12:36:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1132726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mommyisageek/pseuds/mommyisageek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's being selfish, keeping her with him.  But he also knows it's not, entirely, his choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever

Once he’s held her long enough to convince himself she is real, she is here, and she is okay, he finally puts her down, pushes her hair out of her face, and smiles at her again. She beams back at him, pulling a strap on the silly orange suit.

“Always knew you’d come back for me,” she said. “Didn’t even take you five and a half hours.”

“See, I told you. Always wait five and a half hours.”

“I tried. They wouldn’t let me.”

“Let me guess,” he laughs, “they had to force you into that ship. Carry you?”

“They had to make me unconscious first. Woke up in the ship. I wasn’t going to leave you, Doctor.”

He tries to laugh but it falls flat and he just smiles weakly, leaning over to the console. 

This isn’t fair to her, to keep putting her in danger like this. Risking his own life for the fun of it is one thing; her life is far too precious for such reckless endangerment on his part. He should have taken her home long ago, left her there, safe. But he can’t. For reasons he cannot explain, he can’t seem to let her go.

Actually, he can explain it. He just refuses to say it out loud because then it would be real. If he doesn’t say it, it doesn’t exist. If it doesn’t exist, she can’t hurt him. If she can’t hurt him, he won’t have to accept that, at some point, she will leave him, because it wouldn’t matter anyway.

But just because he won’t admit it doesn’t mean it isn’t still there, somewhere.

He almost told Ida to tell her. He started to say the words but then…he didn’t. He isn’t sure why, to be honest, just somehow, he couldn’t manage to get his mouth around them completely. They got stuck in his throat, possibly all the way back in his brain. Refusing to budge.

She had to know anyway.

“Where to now, Rose?” He’s been silent, lost in his own head, far too long, even if it was only a few seconds. He starts pushing levers and flipping switches, preparing her to jump, unsure where.

“Somewhere away from people.” He considers for a moment.

“What about creatures?”

“Are they humanoid?”

“Not at all. And better even – they fly. Beautiful, amazing things.” She smiles at him again.

He would do near anything for that smile.

“Away we go then,” she starts her part of the routine. While he tells the console where and when, she’s stabilizing and directing. She’s learning well and getting the hang of it.

She’ll be able to fly the old girl on her own before too long.

There are lights and sound and the pulsing energy and suddenly, the TARDIS is still again. Rose looks at him expectantly, smiling, all teeth, and he goes to check, make sure, because there are times, no matter how hard he tries, this machine of his has a mind of her own.

But not this time. He sees as soon as he opens the door that he is exactly where he meant to be. The beautiful, empty planet, with large black creatures swooping above but nothing and no one here below.

Just him and Rose.

Nothing in all of time and space could possibly sound better at the moment.

“Come and see,” he says, holding out his hand, and she slides hers into his. It fits perfectly, just where she belongs.

She looks up and her eyes go wide, drinking in the dark and fascinating creatures soaring in and around each other in an unchoreographed dance.

“They’re beautiful…” she manages. He smiles. He loves making her speechless, more than she ever could, or should, possibly know. He watches her watching them until, after a few long moments, she tears her eyes from the sky and looks around. “And there’s no one else on this planet?”

“It’s a rather small planet,” he shrugs. “No humans, no aliens. Nothing but us and the birds.”

“Birds?”

“Seemed as good a word as any.” She laughs at him again.

“How do you know about this place anyway?”

“The old girl brought me here once,” he says, patting the TARDIS absently. “Sontaran invasion. Would have killed the planet and destroyed these beautiful creatures. Sontaran’s have no use for such things as beauty and preservation, it’s simply not in their scope, but I convinced them there were better planets. Found them an abandoned one not far from here where they could settle easier and left this one to the birds.”

“They aren’t birds.”

“Fine, creatures.” He laughs this time, pulling her hand and drawing her closer to him. He puts an arm around her again, feeling her presence, reminding himself, again, that she is here. She is safe.

He is never letting her out of his sight again.

He laughs to himself, knowing that isn’t going to happen. But it’s nice to strive for.

“Can we stay for awhile?”

“As long as you’d like, Rose. As long as you’d like.”

They stay for three days, just them and the TARDIS on the empty beach. The creatures never bother them, barely acknowledge their presence other than to give their small strip of land a wide berth in their swooping patterns. They don’t seem agitated or upset and Rose finds them fascinating. She sits and watches them for hours.

He sits and watches her.

He’s being selfish and he knows it. Every day he tells himself this will be the day he takes her home. It’s the only way he can be sure she’s safe.

And every day he takes her to, or keeps her on, the other side of the universe, about as far from “home” as he can get. It’s not for her – well, it is, but not entirely. It’s for him.

He can’t let her go.

He needs her, desperately, and much more than he ever should.

“Feeling better?” He asks late on day three, standing out on the windy beach watching her in her coat watching the creatures dance.

“Much. The ship and that planet, they’ve faded a bit. You’re here. I’m where I should be.”

“Where you should be? On a planet in a different solar system than your own?” He laughs.

“With you, silly man.” His laugh stops when she smiles at him as guilt grips his throat.

“Are you ready to go home again?” She shakes her head.

“Never.” He smiles again, shoves his hands deep in his pockets.

“How long are you going to stay with me?” He asks, curious. Always has been. He is well aware that any day she could tell him to take her home and he would, as much as he doesn’t want to. He needs her, but she might not need him as much.

She looks at him, straight on, staring at him like he’s an idiot, like he should know this, like it was stupid of him to ask the question. And maybe he is. Maybe he should. Maybe it was. Because he thinks he knows the answer, but he needs to hear it. From her. Needs to hear the truth he can only suspect because, try as he might, he cannot seem to read her mind.

“Forever.”


End file.
